Friday, February 18, 2011

How does one use a bidet?

Ciao Tutti!

I live!  I hope you didn't mind the scheduled posts last week, I'm glad i put them up as i STILL have no internet.  The little village I live in north of Milano, Cairate, is indeed very quaint but along with that comes no internet service.  I bought a Internet Key to use for my laptop but the key and the computer dont seem to understand each other.  So here I sit in my friendly neighborhood Pakistani Internet Zone, unable to upload any of the million pictures I've ever taken.  Like the one I took this morning.  It's been raining straight for the past five days, and before that it was thick sunny smog, but when I opened my shutters (yes I do it dramatically every morning) this sunny morning, there on the horizon were snow-capped mountains!!  Why didn't anyone tell me we were that close?!

You know how back home everyone tells you, EVERYONE speaks English in Italy? Liars.  All of em.  Immediately upon arriving I've been thrown into so many situations where I'm forced to use what little I remember.  Thankfully I can understand almost everything that they say to me know, but just have a hard time getting the words out.  I hear this is normal.

(side note: do you realize how hard it is to type on this foreign computer?)

My apartment is in a little courtyard off of a tiny street.  My landlady Luigia lives next door.  This morning she came in to measure curtains because the neighbors complained about me walking around in my underwear.  She doesn't speak English at all, so getting that information across was...hysterical.  In Cairate the first days as I walked around, everyone would stare at me like I was the enemy.  Now that they have seen me at the Tabaccheria, post office and on the bus they seem to have warmed up a bit.  I even get a 'Ciao' from the weirdo with an eye patch that walks around all the time.

Hopefully my internet situation will work out soon..I'm going to look up wi-fi spots right now so I can use my own laptop and upload my pictures.

With love,

D-H

11 comments:

Nick Heywood said...

When I lived in Rome one of my closest friends had a dedicated fan base in the kitchen boys from the restaurant opposite her bedroom window; they'd cheer, and present her with gift thrown across the courtyard, like potatoes, artichokes, tomatoes, anything seasonal. And then she would cook them. She barely had to buy any food -- marvelous.

I think you should see your new curtains as stage curtains, and think of ways to dramatically make an entrance through them.

CW said...

Lovely to hear from you again.

sarah said...

hilarious! and you have a bidet AND shutters?!

Christina @ Fashion's Most Wanted said...

Dear Daniel, how funny! That's not something I'd ever complain about! Have a great weekend xx

BruttaBuoni said...

Enjoy your stay! Passa un buon fine settimana!

Blue said...

Yes, all very well, but how do you use a bidet? Enquiring minds want to know! Could the phrase, ass-washer, be a clue?

quintessence said...

So nice to see you back even sans photos. Can only imagine your conversation with your landlady!!

Footwear said...

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Paula said...

I empatise with the language problem. I get by with my Italian but understand fully, so frustrating when you know what you want to say and can't spit it out. Hope you get the wifi situation sorted soon.

Jason Hudson Dot Com said...

Hysterical.

Jay said...

I am so embarrassingly out of the loop on your adventures--and now that I'm back on the blog wagon, you're scandalizing folks in the Italian countryside?

D-H, I vow never, ever to fall behind on your delightful life again.